Wednesday, March 11, 2009

OP is a faggot.

I finished A Clockwork Orange today. Pretty good overall, but I went "haw haw haw" at the twenty-first chapter. Because I was slightly hung over and didn't want to be productive at all today, I decided that a good way to waste two hours would be to download and watch the movie.

About thirty seconds into the movie, I made the executive decision that I wanted to wear mascara on my right eye in order to be more of a Burgess fanboy and impress my reclusive mind with a delusional sense of antisocial personality disorder. I look up how to apply mascara on Youtube. After watching the video (and realizing how painstakingly obvious the application procedure is) I went to go the bathroom and spent about five minutes applying the black eyelash-improving goodness.

I failed miserably (shit clots, wtf?) and decided to just wash it off. I thought I got it all, but obviously not.

Mother: So how was Waffle House?
Kane: Good. There was a black kid there who didn't charge me because he liked my shoes.
Mother: Oh, that's nice... Are you wearing mascara?
Kane *stuttering*: Uhh.... Ye-yeah. I was, I was... just curious as to how I would look with make-up on.
Mother: Ok... Goodnight...

At least I was wearing my pair of 510's when this happened. I'm sure they redeemed my sexuality.