Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Foreign language

Ever since Sophomore year, I have had a lack of enthusiasm for school. I haven't been able to do my homework, I haven't been able to pay attention in class, and I have definitely not been able to respect many of the teachers that are employed that are often in charge of leading the classrooms. Although I was hoping the teachers would get better as I made the slow and steady trek through high school, it turns out most of them are the same.

If you want to talk about a terrible school department, ask me about Spanish. I took Spanish 1 in my Sophomore year, and honestly consider it the worst mistake I have ever made. Actually, the first two weeks of class weren't that bad. We had a decent teacher who knew what she was doing. Then, out of the blue, she decided to retire. Two weeks into the semester and she decides to retire. Of course, the Craven Country School System, being the incompetent people they are, had no idea what to do.

Two days later we have a new teacher. Her name is Mrs. Nogalam, and she seems to be a decent lady. "Como esta!" she greets the class, as if we're some sort of spanish natives. She is returned with silence, mainly due to the fact that no one had any clue what she said said. "¿Que'tal?" she inquired; only to be met with blank stares and questioning faces from her students.

That was when it hit me. The Craven County School Board hired a Columbian woman who had no idea how to speak English. She had no clue how to speak English, and we had no clue how to speak Spanish. What an awesome learning environment.

She passes out notebooks and tells us "Work please." No instructions, just "Work please." "Please tell me this is a joke God."  I had to suffer through her class for the next 16 weeks of my life. I finished my workbook, the one that is supposed to take all semester, in three days. I figured she wouldn't actually check them, so I just rewrote the question in the answer blank. Hell, I my friend Whitey wrote the word "Pero-gato" in every answer blank in the book and finished in three hours. For those of you who don't know, this means "Dog-cat". We both got 100's.

Over the course of the class a few interesting things happened. A black kid in my class spilled lemonade on the floor, and she tried to suspend him for urinating in her class. We tried to tell her it was lemonade, but she didn't listen.

I had gotten to class early one day, so it was just myself and her in the class. I say "Buenos dias" and go to sit down when I hear trampling feet behind me. A 6'x" black kid runs into the classroom, leaps all the way to the  ceiling, screams "KOBE!!!!!" at the top of his lungs, and karate chops a pinata, hanging over the desk she is sitting at, in half. It explodes and candy rains down from the heavens as if we're in some sort of sugar carrying El Nino. It lands all over her, myself, and practically every other square inch of the classroom. The kid falls to the ground, grabs a piece of candy, and bolts out the door. I have never seen this kid again but, to this day, he is my hero.

In retrospect, I actually had quite a few funny moments in the class. I also didn't have to do any work at all. Too bad I didn't learn anything and have to suffer for it now. I have Mrs. Drofmom this semester, and she honestly isn't that bad.

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